Hello Nelly Diarians! Wow, do you like how that sounds because I really do. It just occurred to me that we never had any special identity for our ardent followers and readers. Thank you so much for the love and if you just stumbled upon Nelly’s Diary blog, it’s not by chance. You’re most welcome! Feel free to read through previous blog posts and still share your opinions in the comment section. I’ll always respond.
Oh well, it’s been so quiet here and to be honest, I’ve been so overwhelmed. Have I gotten my groove back? I can’t categorically say but I’m here anyway- honouring Cupid’s call.
Okay, now is the time for real talk.I’m going to “loud my mic” so that people at the back can hear me. Relationship people, have you had real conversations with your partners? Or are you still living in the fantasy world with the hopes that everything will fall into place as soon as you get married? Then you had better be ready for some epic shock!
I would say that I’m lucky to have both male and female married friends who have not just shared the blissful aspects of their marriages but also the challenges as well. To be honest, after hearing some of their experiences I keep asking myself if I’m ready to really go down the marriage route. This life no balance sha. As long as we are in this life, there will always be highs and lows and this is also applicable in marriage (including love relationships).
Questions to Ask Before Getting Married
I’m going to share some of the relationship advice I’ve received from some of the married folks I’ve interacted with over time. If you are in a serious relationship, engaged or you are hoping to get into a relationship leading to marriage, then this article is for you.
In no particular order, these are some of the important discussions to have with your partner before getting married.
Who would be taking care of the bills? Are you guys splitting the bills? What percentage will the bills be split? What are the bills to be taken care of: house rent, school fees, groceries, feeding, vacations, repairs etc.
2. Number of Children
If you think everyone wants to have children when they get married then you may need to have a rethink. I’ve heard about a couple who had to break their engagement because the lady wasn’t ready to have children, not even in the nearest future. Her reason was that she didn’t want her sexy body to be altered.
3. Sexual Fantasies
There’s no holier than thou attitude here. Talk about your sexual fantasies. The importance of sex in building intimacy cannot be overemphasized. Even if there is no sex in the relationship, it’s important that you and your partner are aligned in your sexual expectations.
Do you practice the same religion? Would you be switching over to theirs? Or perhaps you don’t belong anywhere and would just go with the flow. Whatever the case may be, it is important that your choice of religion and worship places (in the case for Christians) is agreed by both parties.
5. The Type of Wedding
This causes a lot of disagreement. The man wants a really simple wedding but the woman wants 24 ladies on her train! Before you get engaged, it’s important that you talk about the type of wedding, location, the number of guests etc. I would always say this, never borrow to fund your wedding. Some people are still yet to pay off the debts they incurred for their wedding ceremony. The mistake most people make is to focus on the wedding day, forgetting that the real journey is in marriage.
6. House Chores
This is another overlooked subject. Who does what chore at home? Do you plan to get paid help to take care of the chores? Don’t make the mistake of assuming that your partner would assume some of the roles in the home, especially those “gender-based roles”. Discuss!!!
I just shared some of the important conversations people in a serious relationship should have before tying the knot. I would like to know what you think. Kindly share with us in the comment section. Remember this, a true successful marriage starts with both partners agreeing to make things work, compromising to meet each other halfway. Marriage should be about partnership.
In other news, I’m building a community on Facebook for singles to meet up and network. Feel free to join Cupid’s Arrows Facebook group. Something big is coming soon. Are you ready for it?