Dating’s Dirty Habits
Wow, it’s September already, the beginning of the ember months. September has always been special for me aside from the fact that it is my birth month. We would get back to that gist later. Just don’t forget to remind me. Lol.
Yesterday I attended a monthly relationship series Love, Dating and Marriage in my church tagged Dating’s Dirty Dozens and I’m going to share some of the few things I learned in the program.
Marriage is a life improvement/life imprisonment and whoever you decide to settle down with will determine which you get. Many people think that marriage can complete them or make them happy. The truth is you should first be happy with your life first. When you get into a relationship from a point of need, you don’t negotiate well. You should marry someone because they add to your life.
If your goal is not just to get married but to be happily married, these are the types of people to avoid in dating:
1. Do not date an unbeliever
You cannot fundamentally connect spiritually the way you should when you marry someone who doesn’t share the same faith with you. Marriage multiplies the good or the bad.
2. Do not marry someone who isn’t accountable
Avoid anybody who isn’t submitted to any spiritual authority or mentors. This is especially for women because, in marriage, the man automatically becomes the head. This doesn’t mean that men shouldn’t look out for this as well. Who can speak to him when he goes haywire and vice versa. Who mentors him? Women are way different from men that is why men don’t always understand a women’s feelings but can only understand when someone he respects or he is submitted to. Always look out for the wo(man) who doesn’t belong to any particular church.
3. Avoid secret relationships
Marriage is a public affair and anyone who wants you to get into a secretive relationship with him/her has no long-term plans for you. If the person you are dating cannot introduce you to friends and people close to him/her, or publicly declare you their love for you, you are simply in that relationship alone. Be wary of undefined relationships. Ladies, until a man says he wants to marry you and starts working towards that, other things he says doesn’t mean the same thing. If a guy tells you that he would like to marry someone like you or that he enjoys your company, doesn’t mean that he wants to marry you.
4. Those that are more interested in the sex
Many people make the mistake of engaging in sexual activities in dating. Apart from the fact that it is a sin, coming from the moral angle, sex also has a detrimental impact on relationships. Real intimacy is not sex after all people have sex with prostitutes. Once sex is introduced to a relationship, intimacy cannot be achieved because they would be nothing more to learn about the other person in that relationship.
5. The exed guy/lady
This type of person is still obsessed with their ex and always mention them and compare you to the ex. You wouldn’t want to get into a relationship with this person.
6. The time wasters
Most women are victims of time wasters. Ladies, a guy can go as far as professing his love for you in public, introducing you to his friends and even family, even engage you. It is your duty to ask him when you both would be getting married. If he is serious, he would set a date and work with it.
I would definitely get to share the concluding part of this series with you. Have you read the previous blog post yet?