Happy New Year! Yes, I know I’ve been on ghost mode since the year started, but better late than never, right? Let’s just agree that 2025 is the year that we smash our goals, Amen?
Now, February is here—the official oppression season for the singlets. Couples have been planning since 2024 to tension us, and let’s be honest, they’re succeeding. Every scroll on social media? Boom! Breakfast in bed, matching pajamas, and one unnecessarily long “How We Met” story that nobody asked for.
As if that’s not enough, Valentine’s Day decided to fall on a Friday this year—a whole Valentine WEEKEND. God abeg!
Read Also: My Valentine’s Day Memoir
But before the relationship geng starts to gloat, what if you’re actually single in that relationship? What if, while you’re busy planning romantic getaways, your supposed partner is planning their escape? Eh hen…now I’ve gotten your attention.
Here are the telltale signs that you might just be dating yourself this Valentine.
1. Your Phone is Suspiciously Quiet
On a regular day, your phone is buzzing with memes, texts, and “I miss you” calls. But on Valentine’s Day? Crickets. Even MTN (these guys showed me shege yesterday) cannot relate to this level of ghosting. If your partner disappears like electricity when it rains, my dear, you are on your own. Respect the dead and move on quietly with your life.
2. No Surprise, No Effort
Your partner makes zero effort to surprise you or show affection – no gift, not even a heartfelt message. Hmmmm, it’s time to re-evaluate your situation.
Read Also: 7 Valentine’s Day Ideas Without Spending Money
3. They “Forget” or Pretend Valentine’s Day Doesn’t Exist
They suddenly become philosophical: “Every day should be Valentine’s Day,” How convenient! But best believe if Chelsea wins a match, they will remember to shout “Up Blues!” from morning till night. My dear, they didn’t forget Valentine’s Day—they just forgot you.
4. You’re the Only One Making Plans
If you’re the only one booking dinner reservations, choosing gifts, and planning activities while they remain as uninterested, then congratulations—you’re in a one-man relationship! How do you like it there?
Read Also: 11 Valentine’s Day Ideas for Single People
5. They Make Last-Minute Plans
If they throw together something at the last minute just to tick a box, it’s not about you—it’s about convenience. What are you still doing there? You deserve better.
6. Gifting is One-Sided
You’ve bought gifts every year—from perfume to sneakers to that expensive wristwatch or wig they posted on their Insta story. But you? The only thing you’ve received is “Thanks babe, you’re the best.” My dear, just add Santa Claus to your CV, LinkedIn and your social media profiles and move on.
7. They Suddenly Become Busy
They go from almost choking you with calls to suddenly becoming busy with work, hobbies and even come up with ridiculous excuses – their mother’s father’s second cousin’s son is ill, their pastor is holding a 24-hour deliverance session, they got stuck in the elevator at work. Are you really falling for that?
So, what’s your plan for Valentine’s Weekend? Let me know in the comments!
And if you know someone that needs to read this, don’t be stingy—share it with them! Who knows? You might just be saving them from premium breakfast.
