We’ve all heard this popular saying ‘Marriage is a beautiful thing’. Right from our childhood, we’ve been made to believe the forever after endings, also romance novels and dramas especially the telenovelas make us believe that love is all that makes a marriage work. We seem to have forgotten that marriage isn’t a bed of roses.
Marriage requires a lot of work literally. Sadly most people still go into marriage without having a full grasp of what they are going into. It’s no longer surprising the increase in the divorce rates and separation in recent years. Divorce that was seen as a taboo in our society has gradually been embraced and the trend doesn’t seem to end.
Yesterday, I attended a single’s conference ‘Love, Dating and Marriage’ titled “Things I Wish I Knew Before Getting Married”. LDM for short is actually a programme held every first Sunday of the month in my church David’s Christian Centre, on the mainland.
I will share some of the things you should know before getting married as shared by Pastor Mildred Okonkwo using her own personal experience and I hope this helps you get prepared for your marital journey.
What are the things you should know before saying I do?
i. Your life will get busier
Marriage is work that is why it is important to build yourself and do everything such as travel, courses, take time to hang out with friends, workout, spend on yourself as a single person. In marriage, you should be able to multitask, prioritize and learn how to say no. As a single person, you should train yourself to multitask at levels you never thought would be possible.
ii. You’ll need a mentor
The need for a real-life mentor cannot be overemphasized. Accountability is one of the major things that would save you in marriage. Get a mentor that is experiencing a great marriage already.
iii. Your upbringing, character, and temperament really affect your marriage
Before you head for the aisle, you need to consider these factors as they have a whole lot to play in marriage.
iv. Your partner isn’t the source of your happiness in marriage
Marriage doesn’t fix anybody rather the Word of God. Have a life. Live in such a way that your spouse can also miss you. Have a life of your own. Your happiness is totally up to you and not on who you marry.
v. People receive love in different ways
If you haven’t read the book ‘The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman, then this is a must-have. The 5 love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch and gifts. You need to know the love languages of your partner because thy way you receive love may not be the same way your spouse receives love. This is a lot of mistakes most people are making in marriage.
vi. It’s ok to wait till you are sure before entering into a relationship/marriage
This will save you a lot of stress, wasted time and emotions. Marriage is an assignment, not a reward.
vii. You need the help of the Holy Spirit
You cannot do marriage without the Holy Spirit. You need to train yourself to obey the Holy Spirit regarding things concerning your marriage.
A whole lot was shared and once again I’m reminded that it’s not just enough to get married, a whole lot of work is actually needed to nurture that marriage and build your own forever after. I hope you find this post insightful just as I did. Even if you are married, you can still make necessary adjustments to achieve the marriage of your dreams.
If you are still single, enjoy your singlehood while it lasts. You can download/listen to the full message here.
You can also get the book Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman.