What Will You Do If Your Friend’s Partner Hits On You?


What will you do if your friend's partner was hitting on you

Photo Credit: Pixabay

I believe that if you truly love someone, you would respect that person enough not to cheat on that person.

Some people have argued that once you are in love with someone or married to someone, you should not get attracted to other people.

The truth is, it is very natural to get attracted to someone else even if you are already in a love relationship or married. The twist here is that you don’t have to act on it. There will always be someone better than your partner. Ask Solomon in the  Bible who had a thousand women in his life.

Emotional affair is much worse than the physical one. It can spring out from a casual friendship and before you know it, you find yourself thinking about this person, you can’t wait to hear from this person. You can talk about almost anything, a level of friendship you’ve not even attained with your partner. Next thing comparison sets in and if not controlled, your feelings take over your senses and begin to want more and even go for the kill, damning all the consequences.

For some people, it may be that they don’t get enough attention from their partner or they may even feel they made a mistake marrying or getting romantically involved with this person. You decide to test other waters. Who knows, the grass might be greener at the other side?

Anyway let’s focus on the subject on ground;

What will you do if your friend’s partner is hitting on you?


What will you do if your friend's partner is hitting on you

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Someone decided to share her experience but requested to be anonymous.

Anonymous: I lost my parents when I was ten in a plane crash. I have just a sibling. He was four years at that time. My parents came from wealthy homes so catering for us was not an issue. My younger brother lived with my paternal family and only visited me during the holidays. I lived with my maternal family and visited my paternal home during Christmas.

I met my then best friend at Uyo, we attended the same secondary school. People thought we were sisters. We had same complexion, same physique the only difference is the tribe. She’s Ibo while I’m Ibibio. Our families became close because of our friendship. We even went to the same university. That’ was where she met her then boyfriend.

Nsikan is every lady’s dream. I told my friend she was lucky to have someone like him so I thought until he began to make a subtle pass at me. I became very careful around him. Avoided him whenever he visited my friend. We lived together when we relocated to Lagos after our NYSC. I didn’t know how to tell her that her boyfriend was hitting on me especially as I was going through a tough heartbreak then. 

She told me almost everything about her relationship. I was the chief organizer of her marriage proposal. If I had my way I wouldn’t have gotten involved in anything but how would I have explained to my friend or our families my reason? They would have probably said I was envious!

The incident that broke the camel’s back was a week to her wedding, she had to make a trip back home at Uyo. Her fiancé visited without calling and also knowing fully well that she wasn’t in town. He came in the guise that he was checking up on me ( he was fully aware of my then failed relationship). Then he began to tell me how he wished it was me he was getting married to, how he has always loved me and wouldn’t mind breaking his engagement with my friend to be with me only if I accept him. This was the first time he had been so upfront and personal about his emotions. I slapped him when he kissed me as I told him to leave. I threatened I was going to tell my friend everything if he didn’t stop bothering me.

My friend came back some days later and for the first time I wasn’t excited to see her. I was distraught. Should I tell her what her fiancé said? Their wedding was just few days away. She noticed my demeanor and misunderstood it for me missing her. She hugged me assuring me that her home was open to me anytime, that we would still be sisters and marriage wouldn’t separate us. She even prayed that my own marriage would be happen soon. We both cried. I was so emotional. I loved Nky. So I asked her if she was sure about Nsikan. If she trusted him enough to marry him. If he had ever given her reasons to doubt him. I wish I had kept my mouth shut.

Two days to the wedding Nsikan came to our house claiming that he was supposed collect get some things for the bachelor’s party he left with Nky. My friend had told me she was going over to Nsikan’s for some final wedding preparations. I declined her request to follow her, all in an attempt to avoid her fiancé.

Little did I know that the son of a bitch had set me up. He walked straight to the bedroom and after about ten minutes he called me. He was out of the bathroom completely naked, smiling mischievously. As I opened my mouth to shout, I heard Nky’s voice behind me.

So it’s true! This is what you guys have been doing behind my back and you call yourself my sister. She stormed out of the house. I lost my sister, my friend and her family. The wedding didn’t hold. I wish I had told her earlier.


This story left me quite emotional. I feel the mistake she made was to tell her friend’s fiancé her plans and he used it against her. Maybe she should have confided in a member of the family as she found it really difficult to talk to her friend.

This can really be a dicey situation as I’ve found myself almost in a similar situation. This time it was the husband of a relation. First thing I did was to avoid communication with this person, stopped visiting and somehow it died a natural death. Some years later I heard that he was finally exposed by another close relative. Well, the marriage had finally crashed.

Will you tell your friend that their partner is hitting on you? Please share with us in the comment session on the blog.

Chinyelu Adum is a blend of several traits- fun lover, fashion enthusiast, picture freak, a creative content writer and SEO consultant.

10 comments On What Will You Do If Your Friend’s Partner Hits On You?

  • I think I will have to tell my friend and damn the consequences. It is better for them to hate me now than for their marriage to fall apart and it turns out that I knew about things that could have stopped them from making a wrong decision.

  • I pray this never happens to me. I will probably laugh it off and pretend like it never happened.

  • I was once a victim, trying to hide from such confrontations. I also made the same mistakes of not telling, thinking I could handle things but it crashed in my hands. The trauma of the stigmatization hunted me throughout my tertiary institution period. It’s always wonderful to live like an open book to your friends, a lesson I learnt the hard way.

  • It’s a dilemma really. Either ways everyone will get hurt. This happens to both male and female folks alike and it’s worrisome. What do adults really want? 🤔

  • Speaking from experience, I may not tell my friend anything. I had a friend back in university who was dating a guy, my friend traveled and asked me to help her clean up the house cuz her boyfriend was returning and she wasn’t there to do the cleaning which I glad
    M her do. The guy came back and started asking me to date him. I told him i couldn’t cuz he’s my friend’s boyfriend and i can’t betray my friend. I told my friend about it and her boyfriend denied it and my friend called me a liar and said I was jealous and wanted to snatch her boyfriend. After that, I stayed away from my friend and her relationship.

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