Gist Corner- When Life Happens

when life happens

Three weeks ago one of my childhood friends visited me. It was kind of an impromptu meeting. Her pleasantries were her accusing me of being a wicked friend for not visiting her all these while and me feeling guilty had no choice but to apologize although I know I’m far from being a wicked person. I understood where she was coming from- We live four closes apart.

Angela is happily married with three handsome boys and is expecting another child which she really wants to be a girl this time.

Me: Na wa ohh…Do you get pregnant every year? I teased her while she gave me a wicked grin.

Angela: You just forgot about me. The last time you came to see me was when my third baby was three months. He would be two years in September.

Me: (Shocked) You’re kidding! Are you saying that we saw last in 2016? How time flies.

I can’t still get over that. Like it seemed just like months we saw last. The three months old baby of that time already walks and talks. Wow! Did any part of my life pause?

Me: I’m really really sorry. Like I have no excuse. Life happens. But come to think of it, you shouldn’t miss me at all. You already have enough activities at your disposal.

Angela: It’s like you want me to break your head.

I almost forgot to mention that my friend is a bully. Lol. This time I wasn’t going to give her a field’s day. We talked about life, investment, career, relationship, and marriage.

Angela: See all this fine girl that you are doing, wearing trendy clothes and fine hair, better enjoy it now because when you marry and start having kids you won’t be able to do any of these things.

Me: No way! I would even slay more then.

Angela: (shaking her head) I once said that. It’s not like you won’t want to look good but there’s something that comes with motherhood. All you would be thinking is getting kinds of stuff for your kids forgetting yourself. Sometimes I ask myself if something is wrong with me.

I felt a new dawn of realization. I’ve heard this several times and have always wondered how true it was. My friend reaffirming this made me somewhat weary. I don’t intend to lose myself in the course of motherhood. Then it hit me why some men get less attracted to their wives after a while- most times mums focus so much attention on the welfare of their children. Now, this is where I think those kinds of husbands should step up. If you sense or have noticed that your wife is paying little or no attention to herself, instead of looking out at those young slay mamas, make out time, get her something that you think will look good on her. Something attracted you to her before you guys got married in the first place. Also, talk to her in love that her well-being and looks are also as important as the kids as well.

I’m not saying that mothers should become complacent and lackadaisical towards their appearance. There’s nothing like the love of a mother but it’s not a crime to look good. Stop feeling guilty when you get good stuff for yourself. Strike a balance and reward yourself once in a while.

Angela: God knows my next shopping, if I don’t buy anything for myself, I would just conclude that there’s something really wrong with me.

Me: (Smiling). There’s nothing wrong with you dear. You’re just being a mum.

I didn’t attempt to hug her because I know she would have given me a weird stare. She’s the Margaret Thatcher in the gang. LOL.



Chinyelu Adum is a blend of several traits- fun lover, fashion enthusiast, picture freak, a creative content writer and SEO consultant.

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