First Date Rules: Who Pays on a First Date?


who pays on a first date

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Hi guys, it’s been ages. I honestly didn’t expect to take this long to write. Okay where do I start to apologize for the long silence? This year has really been a “special” one. It seems we are paying the price of calling the birth month of God’s only son “Detty December”…pun intended!


Honestly a lot has happened in the last few months and here we are already in September! Thankfully it seems coronavirus has been fair to us here especially in Nigeria. We can as well say that Nigeria’s economy is already a pandemic, so what is coronavirus??? Shift


Let’s leave Nigeria’s problem for now and focus on the main topic; 


Who Pays on a First Date

Who should pay on the first date? Is this even supposed to be a question? YES! Dating has evolved just as every aspect of life has over the years. What used to be seen as the norm has been questioned or changed. Well, selectively.


Generally, a man pays for the first date. Reasons could be that the society expects that from him and he is seen as less of a man if he doesn’t, or he just wants to impress the woman. 

who pays on a first date

Photo Credit: Getty Images


Should Only Men Pay on a First Date?

This is one of the biggest debates in dating these days especially with the fight for equal rights. Despite this, the majority of the women still want guys to pay on the first date- even feminists! Now this doesn’t mean that women who want the men to cover the bills on the first date are materialistic or hungry. I would say it simply has a lot to do with conditioning. In a woman’s world, if a man pays on the first date he is interested in her (there are exceptions to this and I stand to be corrected).


Dating is challenging these days. With women asking men out, one would expect that she pays the bills just as men who ask women out on a date are expected to foot the bills. Unless the man isn’t comfortable with the idea of the woman paying on their first date or he really fancies her and to express how he feels towards her, he offers to take care of the bills. 


There’s this traditional relationship script where a man asks a woman out, plans the first date, pays for it, follows up within a few days. This is like a standard people use to compare dates and prospects. Is this changing anytime soon? Time will tell.


My Advice to Women on a First Date

  • Go with your own money even if he offered to take you out- e get why 


  • If the guy asks you to pick the restaurant for the date, choose moderately- priced restaurants. 


  • Be considerate when taking orders. A first date is not a buffet. Don’t order the most expensive item on the menu.


  • You can go a step further by asking him if he would take care of the bills or it will be split which is fair enough. It is left to the guy to agree to your offer or not. 

Advice to Men on a First Date

  • If you initiated the idea of a date, pick a restaurant where you can comfortably cover the full cost of the bill. 


  • Although most women expect men to pay on the first date, communicate early enough if you won’t be able to take care of the bills alone.


  • If she asks you out on a date and wants to take care of the bills, you can offer to split the bills or pay for the drinks.


Although I am an independent woman, I would still like to be taken care of. I would still like the man to pay on the first date and on subsequent dates, we can split the bills. Have you read Questions to Ask on a First Date


So guys, would you split the bills on a first date? Or simply be just the perfect gentleman that you are and pay *winks*. Dear women, would you mind splitting the bills on the first date? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. You know how we roll.


P.S: It’s my Birthday and I’m going to do what I like today🥳. Or should I just do a giveaway so that Princess my former colleague can let me breathe in peace whenever I put up my pictures on Whatsapp stories 🙄? 


Chinyelu Adum is a blend of several traits- fun lover, fashion enthusiast, picture freak, a creative content writer and SEO consultant.

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